Never let a label define you.

Netflix Family Rotten Tomatoes

Okay, I’m going to ask you a question. A very specific one. Have you watched, Never have I ever?

Not talking about the first season. Yeah, I know it was great too but the 2nd and 3rd one?

Mostly when they make 2nd or 3rd seasons or sequels of a series or a movie. My brain says, Ankita, it’s going to be a disaster.

Hey, here I am talking about the Indian industry people, not the west or any other industry in general.

Okay, let it be. Let’s talk about what I mentioned earlier. Never have I ever. It’s not a review. Just a connection that I felt, not with teen drama, sexual urges or complex insecurities. This is about how I related the most with Devi’s private conversations with everyone. Because we all know, publicly she just did the job of humiliating herself. Be it getting attacked by a coyote or marching with the marching band in a cricket costume.

And when I say that I found it relatable. I’m not talking about the cricket, the mascot with a marching band because I know most of the people who know me, they are only capable of thinking that when it comes to me. Sorry to disappoint you but then on what basis am I saying this, right? Well I would say, I saw Devi, the way doctor Ryan saw her in the whole show or the way her mother saw her in the second last episode of the 3rd season.

Doctor Ryan, is not different from any other psychologist is what I believe, I guess. How would I know, right? Well I have been through my fair share of teen drama and crying in locked rooms with a total stranger because didn’t want the whole school to know how I had many multiple personality clashes all at the same time within my brain, that’s always a winner, right? But my therapist had no fancy tissue box or for that matter a comforting stuff toy or even a rubber ball with a creepy smiling face on it. Well, I survived.

I just remember the instances like when Dr. Ryan comforted Devi by saying, “it means you are human Devi, you feel alot. Which means sometimes you’re going to hurt a lot but, it also means that you’re going to live a life that is emotionally rich and really beautiful”. Well, Dr. Ryan I can’t agree with you more. We, the emotional kinds, we got to learn to be more expressive and who better than me knows what it costs to be in hiding or always suppressing what you feel. And that takes a toll on your mental health but again, nobody cares.

Then I saw her mother doing nothing but scolding her. But being emotional and vulnerable with Dr. Jackson made Nalini understand how she needs to understand and listen more to her daughter and that’s what she did. The way she consoled her, it was almost like Devi and Nalini rekindled their bond again at the very instance when Nalini said, Oh Devi, Listen to me. You are never too much, and you are always enough. And one day, you will find someone who loves you exactly as you are. Well conversations like these seems far fetched in our indian households. Maybe I’ll be Nalini to someone one day. Lucky you Devi, I’m proud of you that you chose not to leave your Nalini for that over the top intellectual school in the woods.

Now, as we all know no-one can stop Devi from self sabotaging but then again, the way Kamala who was finally given the screen time that she deserved in the 3rd season, tried her best to put something called awareness and being ready for the next step of a relationship into that stubborn head of Devi Vishwakumar. Well it’s not only her, every teen or soon to be an adult have the same dilemmas and circumstances at some point of life or another.

But she did make some kick-ass choices by throwing cold coffee on Nirdesh’s aka Des face to let him know that she makes her life choices not her mom but then what happened? She became the hypocrite teen as soon as she saw Dr. Jackson. Well that was a moment when her grandmother hit her with the values of acceptance, the best. I mean, I understand denial. I have faced it alot with everyone around me. I was always loosing myself and was afraid of loosing everyone else, still am. But we can’t take anyone’s freedom and will to detach themselves from us for their sake. Because it’s just selfish but on the other hand I understand Devi too, it hurts and it hurts real bad when someone tries to replace others your loved ones with someone new.

But grandma, you did a great job. Teaching Devi that Nalini is a grown woman and she can make her own choice of either being happy or mourn for Mohan her whole life.

We talk about people from her family but there’s another family which every one of us choose by ourselves and if there’s problems between the relationships in that family then we know, how to own upto it and solve unlike our regular families. That family everyone includes our friends.

We say that we choose them by ourselves but it’s never really like that. They tag along just like that, you wouldn’t even notice that you have a new friend just after an Instagram chat. Like Aneesha, who just became from the other Indian girl, more friendly, cool and visible to others, Devi 2.0 — frenemy for Ben — one of Devi’s best friends. She just came in the chaotic lives of Devi, Fab and El.

But I must tell you guys, if you have seen the show then you know that they were friends who never supported Devi for the wrong things she did to others intentionally or unintentionally. But they did support her to make it right after the labyrinth she always created for herself. Which was showed in all the three seasons. I mean, how can we forget? she indirectly got Ben because of them ofcourse she also lost him indirectly because of them. But nevermind El made it right again. There is so much more to say about them but I wouldn’t do that to you guys who haven’t seen it because you deserve the love they have to share. Talking of love, who can forget Ben whom she connected with, that’s rare and too difficult to find but good friends can also sometimes cloud your right decisions.

Ben being angry on Devi for double timing him with Paxton was right but he dating Aneesha was a direct knife in the heart. Cheesy, right? Well if we do not want to be cheesy then we have to talk about Paxton Hall- Yoshida. I mean, I love Ben, mostly team Ben. Also because Andy Samberg is doing his voiceover plus, I am more into the emotional ones but Paxton was no less on the emotional scale and I am happy that they showed Paxton’s emotional side and a much real one all that with giving him the voice by the one and only, Gigi Hadid, Like really. But nevermind I just loved the people reading their minds. Wish could have seen them on the show too but the legend will always be none other than, John McEnroe. He was the real deal. He could read Devi like no one else, listening to him always felt like I was hanging between I really want something like this but on the second thought I definitely don’t want this creepy thing happening to me. Well, creep or not he will be a legend for how he played Devi Vishwakumar’s voiceover.

Sorry to forget about the can’t be forgotten person in the whole show. Like really no one, Devi, her friends, Dr. Ryan, Ben, and especially the audience not a single person can deny that Paxton Hall Yoshida was the only dominating character of Devi’s romantic life that no one can forget. Yes, I understand team Ben, the banter, the spark, the keeping on each other’s toes, the competition, the chemistry and the innocent love they had for each other cannot be compared but Paxton Hall Yoshida. He was he, not because of his body. But for his honesty. I’m not at all a body person. I’m more of a filmy person who believes in liking the same films or even flowers. But there is a catch, I sometimes like people by how they dress because I never put much efforts in looks. I mean if you wear a simple kurta-pajama in front of me then nothing is more sexier than you for me but at the same time if someone comes in with all flowery top to bottom same coloured tuxedo, I’ll definitely be in line to hit a conversation with you because where did you find that confidence from?

But apart from his body what Paxton Hall Yoshida said to Devi in the 5th episode of 3rd season was something made me a little more inclined towards him than other times and also because there is a wave of self love going on man, so you have to support this. “Devi, I really like you but I don’t think we can have a real relationship until you like yourself ". Well that is something which is obviously going to hurt for days. Especially for those who know what self sabotage means.

We try to do the best by doing our best but it never happens for us. But apart from us, Paxton really showed Devi a path at last that we need to like ourselves first before we are trying to let others in.

You might not agree that he has a very big role but he does, not only talking about the screen time that he got but also the important part he played in Devi’s life right from primary school. Especially the most important fact about him is that he helped her get through his Dad’s demise by being a fantasy he was. I’m not saying this, that’s what she said.

P. S. — I was thinking a bit hard for the title I should give to this piece, which no one can call a review, a fangirl thing or a story. It is just like a page from my diary that I instantly started scribbling as soon as I felt connected to. I felt connected to this but then again Paxton Hall Yoshida came to the rescue with his graduation speech and gave me this line for the title. I know it doesn’t relate that much but when you will finish reading this whole thing or watching the whole show then you will understand the meaning of this title but I will also tell you guys here because it’s kind of my duty as you are my lovely readers who bear me :’)

So, the title can’t be justified but can be connected with every character on the show. How each one of them were given a label right from the first season, the crazy Devi and quite frankly everyone including her own mother called her that but then again it was her mother who consoled her understanding what she was going through and disagreeing with her own words in the past.

Ben the nerd, although he never gave up on being competitive yet he understood that his success doesn’t mean that he needs to be on top everytime but it depends on how happy he is in his life with that success totally different from what his father taught him about success.

El, Fab and Aneesha had their own journeys of not identifying themselves with those labels and finally finding their real selves which is yet to be discovered more in the 4th season. Kamala thrashing the patriarchy by telling people that beautiful girls can be smart too. Also, how can we forget Manish, the English teacher who fought such a tough battle with the one and only grandma (mallu aunty) trying to prove that he is the right Indian- American man for Kamala.

Also, Nalini changing from a control freak single mother to an understanding, cool and standing against her fake best friend to support her daughter kind of mother.

Last but the most important one, Paxton Hall Yoshida, on whom literally a movie can be made or a book can be written just with this title. He was judged by everyone just because he had a beautiful body, he couldn’t have brains? If you observe carefully some of 2nd and mostly the 3rd season was about Paxton fighting against the labels which have been defining him all his life. His friends, teachers, Devi, and even his parents, he had to fight against all their poster boy views about him. So I guess my inspiration for this whole long thing came more from Paxton than Devi. But still I’m happy that I wrote this. And now after writing this the only thing that pops into my mind to ask you guys is that.

Have you ever felt connected to anything like this? If you have then go have something yummy to fill your tummy. Because man the food, which I wanted to pounce upon everytime I saw the Vishwakumar’s dinner table. And how it made me happy that it’s an Indian-American show where I can really like and connect with the food.

Also, if you reach till here which most of you will not be able to then do try to tell me how you felt after reading and do you want me talk about more shows which I kind of liked compared than the others? Or you want to bang my head against a wall :’) Both are acceptable. You might go to jail but never mind, not my problem :)

And also, thanks for tolerating, love you guys. Bie.